If gas keeps going up, this is how all of us will be taking our vacations!!!!
A woman goes into Cabela’s to buy a rod and reel for her grandson’s birthday. She doesn’t know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter.
A Cabela’s associate is standing there wearing dark shades. She says, ‘Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod andreel?’
He says, ‘Ma’am, I’m completely blind; but if you’ll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything from the sound it makes.’ She doesn’t believe him but drops it on the counter anyway.
He says, ‘That’s a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-LB. Test line. It’s a good all around combination; and it’s on sale this week for only $20.00.’
She says, ‘It’s amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I’ll take it!’ As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor.
‘Oh, that sounds like a Master Card,’ he says.
She bends down to pick it up and accidentally farts. At first she is really embarrassed, but then realizes there is no way the blind clerk could tell it was she who tooted. Being blind, he wouldn’t know that she was the only person around.
The man rings up the sale and says, ‘That’ll be $34.50 please.’
The woman is totally confused by this and asks, ‘Didn’t you tell me the rod and reel were on sale for $20.00? How did you get $34.50?’
He replies,’ Yes, Ma’am. The rod and reel is $20.00, but the Duck Call is $11.00 and the Catfish Bait is $3.50.’
A guy walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check.
He marched straight up to the counter and said, ‘Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I’d really rather have a job.’
The social worker behind the counter said, ‘ Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter.
You’ll have to drive around in his 2007 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours meals will be provided. You’ll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips.
This is rather awkward to say but you will also have as part of your job assignment to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid-20’s and has a rather strong sex drive.
A two-bedroom loft type apartment with plasma TV, stereo, bar, etc. located a bove the garage will be designate d for your sole use and the salary is $200,000 a year.’
The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, ‘ You’re bullshittin’ me!’
The social worker said, ‘ Yeah, well . . you started it.’
This was originally posted on Worldnetdaily.com in November of 2006 but i feel like it is so true that it needs reposting… so with that, here is the article originally posted at: http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=53028
Made in the USA: Spoiled brats
Posted: November 20, 2006
1:00 am EasternBy Craig R. Smith
© 2008The other day I was reading Newsweek magazine and came across some poll data I found rather hard to believe. It must be true given the source, right? The same magazine that employs Michael (Qurans in the toilets at Gitmo) Isikoff. Here I promised myself this week I would be nice and I start off in this way. Oh what a mean man I am.
The Newsweek poll alleges that 67 percent of Americans are unhappy with the direction the country is headed and 69 percent of the country is unhappy with the performance of the president. In essence 2/3s of the citizenry just ain’t happy and want a change.
So being the knuckle dragger I am, I starting thinking, ”What we are so unhappy about?”
Is it that we have electricity and running water 24 hours a day, 7 days a week? Is our unhappiness the result of having air conditioning in the summer and heating in the winter? Could it be that 95.4 percent of these unhappy folks have a job? Maybe it is the ability to walk into a grocery store at any time and see more food in moments than Darfur has seen in the last year?
Maybe it is the ability to drive from the Pacific Ocean to the Atlantic Ocean without having to present identification papers as we move through each state? Or possibly the hundreds of clean and safe motels we would find along the way that can provide temporary shelter? I guess having thousands of restaurants with varying cuisine from around the world is just not good enough. Or could it be that when we wreck our car, emergency workers show up and provide services to help all involved. Whether you are rich or poor they treat your wounds and even, if necessary, send a helicopter to take you to the hospital.
Perhaps you are one of the 70 percent of Americans who own a home, you may be upset with knowing that in the unfortunate case of having a fire, a group of trained firefighters will appear in moments and use top notch equipment to extinguish the flames thus saving you, your family and your belongings. Or if, while at home watching one of your many flat screen TVs, a burglar or prowler intrudes; an officer equipped with a gun and a bullet-proof vest will come to defend you and your family against attack or loss. This all in the backdrop of a neighborhood free of bombs or militias raping and pillaging the residents. Neighborhoods where 90 percent of teenagers own cell phones and computers.
How about the complete religious, social and political freedoms we enjoy that are the envy of everyone in the world? Maybe that is what has 67 percent of you folks unhappy.
Fact is, we are the largest group of ungrateful, spoiled brats the world has ever seen. No wonder the world loves the U.S. yet has a great disdain for its citizens. They see us for what we are. The most blessed people in the world who do nothing but complain about what we don’t have and what we hate about the country instead of thanking the good Lord we live here.
I know, I know. What about the president who took us into war and has no plan to get us out? The president who has a measly 31 percent approval rating? Is this the same president who guided the nation in the dark days after 9/11? The president that cut taxes to bring an economy out of recession? Could this be the same guy who has been called every name in the book for succeeding in keeping all the spoiled brats safe from terrorist attacks? The commander in chief of an all-volunteer army that is out there defending you and me?
Make no mistake about it. The troops in Iraq and Afghanistan have volunteered to serve, and in many cases have died for your freedom. There is currently no draft in this country. They didn’t have to go. They are able to refuse to go and end up with either a ”general” discharge, an ”other than honorable” discharge or, worst case scenario, a ”dishonorable” discharge after a few days in the brig.
So why then the flat out discontentment in the minds of 69 percent of Americans? Say what you want but I blame it on the media. If it bleeds it leads and they specialize in bad news. Everybody will watch a car crash with blood and guts. How many will watch kids selling lemonade at the corner? The media knows this and media outlets are for-profit corporations. They offer what sells. Just ask why they are going to allow a murderer like O.J. Simpson to write a book and do a TV special about how he didn’t kill his wife but if he did … insane!
Stop buying the negative venom you are fed everyday by the media. Shut off the TV, burn Newsweek, and use the New York Times for the bottom of your bird cage. Then start being grateful for all we have as a country. There is exponentially more good than bad.
I close with one of my favorite quotes from B.C. Forbes in 1953:
”What have Americans to be thankful for? More than any other people on the earth, we enjoy complete religious freedom, political freedom, social freedom. Our liberties are sacredly safeguarded by the Constitution of the United States, ‘the most wonderful work ever struck off at a given time by the brain and purpose of man.’ Yes, we Americans of today have been bequeathed a noble heritage. Let us pray that we may hand it down unsullied to our children and theirs.”
I suggest this Thanksgiving we sit back and count our blessings for all we have. If we don’t, what we have will be taken away. Then we will have to explain to future generations why we squandered such blessing and abundance. If we are not careful this generation will be known as the ”greediest and most ungrateful generation.” A far cry from the proud Americans of the ”greatest generation” who left us an untarnished legacy.
Well, lately I’ve been experiencing some of the woes of the SATA hard drive. I love the speed, dont get me wrong. Its just a pain to install Windows XP onto a SATA drive though, since the XP install cd does’nt come with the SATA controller drivers. You have to go through the whole “press F6″ on installation thing. (only the geeks out there will know what i mean…)
I recently ordered a new Dell laptop (Woohoo for me!) and it came preloaded with the terrible Vista OS. I hate it. Please don’t flame me if you like it, more power to you. I just hate it. So in my attempt to nuke the new laptop and install XP, I stumbled into an even more troubling experience. Most computers these days don’t have floppy drives in them anymore, who needs them anyways? Anyone who is going through the whole “Press F6″ on installation thing…thats who needs them. (Again, the geeks will understand.)
So in my research to resolve this problem, and get Windows XP installed on my new laptop, I found an awesome website and an awesome piece of software. It allows one to integrate drivers into the Windows XP installation package, create an ISO of such, and then burn a bootable CD to install from which includes your SATA driver! This was so easy and quick, anyone can do it if you can install Windows XP. Check out this article, it links to the software and has detailed instructions on the whole process:
Install Windows XP on SATA without a Floppy (F6) - No Floppy…no Windows on SATA? Wrong!
